What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Damn!
Q: Why did the fish blush? A: Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
One day, two guys Frank, and Bob, were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.
Frank said, “Gee, Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!” Bob replied, “It’s the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 30 years.”
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice from above said, “There are no fish down there.”
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?” “No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, “I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!”
“That bad, huh,” his friend responded. “She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures, and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!”
Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and walked across the water to get some more bait. After two hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait, so he got up and walked across the water. After three hours of fishing, they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So, he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom.
The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, “Should we have told him where the rocks were?”
Fish come in three sizes: small, medium and the one that got away!